THE TRAINING CAMP (Unedited tape transcription, rough draft) by Tamarack Song The wind in the lofty pines whistled the excitement of the guardian apprentice who I was guiding to the training camp for her first visit. We were skirting around the bog on what appeared to be a narrow deer trail. The camp was on a secluded island out in the bog. The site was chosen because no one would suspect any human activity there, and it would be unlikely that anyone would come across it by chance. In fact, the woman I'm taking out to the camp, yes, I said woman.- about one out of four guardian apprentices are female, just walked by the trail that goes out to the island, perhaps I should elaborate upon that. To call it a trail would probably stretch the definition of trail beyond its acceptable limits because actually, if she had noticed the turn off to the island camp, she'd have been the first. To the trained eye there would be a number of clues - the trail ahead not being as heavily worn, would indicate that trail users were going off trail somewhere and the tracks on the trail would show where they were exiting and in which direction. The wear patterns of the vegetation along the trail would also give a clue. A passerby might notice a rock about an arms length off of the trail and pass by it with no suspicion that it was actually the stepping off point for another trail. At first glance, it would look pretty much like any of the other glacier boulders that were strewn over the landscape. The trained eye would probably notice that the top of the rock was polished smooth and be immediately curious at to why. From that rock they would notice an old rotting tree trunk half buried in the bog. Again, the casual observer would probably see it as nothing out of the ordinary and assume it to be the remnant of an ancient tree that once leaned out over the bog, and eventually succumbs to the vagaries of time. Again, the aware observer would pick up the wear pattern on the surface of the log and let him guide him to the next stepping stone, and so on until they had crossed the section of bog to the island camp. I allowed the newcomer to go a few paces beyond the turnoff before I stopped her, so that when we backtracked she could notice for herself the wear patterns that I have just described to you. She wasn't at all surprised that I allowed her to walk beyond the turnoff, because this was hardly the first challenge to her abilities of awareness and attunement. I gave her no directions to my house, which is no a National Forest road five miles out of the town which is small enough to be omitted from some maps. She wasn't surprised when we walked into camp and there was no one to be seen. Having come for her initiation ritual, she already knew enough of the ways of the Guardian that the camp residents had ways of knowing that someone was approaching. She was drawn immediately to the spartan lodges which were only slightly less camouflaged than the trail which let to the camp. Each lodge was unique in the way it blended into the landscape, and yet each lodge was similar in that it provided the barest of shelter requirement. The way of Guardian training is one of utmost simplicity of accouterments, so that there's little to get in the way, and as much energy and attention as possible available for the training. With a signal from me, three people appeared from the thick spruces surrounding the small island. They were clothed only with loincloth and mocassin in keeping with their spartan ways. The weather was mild, yet if it were cooler, they may not be wearing much more. As their attuned metabolisms and mental states keep them comfortable over a wide range of temperature. Greetings were quiet and low key in keeping with the Guardian way of purposefulness when expending energy and a continually maintaining a circle of attunement round oneself. Unnecessary or loud conversation would negate that. They are learning to share much nonverbally. Their silence is also helping them to maintain connection with the fourth person in camp. There's always a designated look out, someone who falls back, out of sight in order to maintain perspective on the scene, and also keep in touch with what may be occurring beyond that immediate circle. The new Seeker will not be made privy to the fact that there's a lookout till after her initiation ceremony. Right away she notices the ragged appearance of one of the three who have come forth to greet us, and a chill goes up her spine. She knows that that will soon be her. She envisioned her long wavy tresses being burned off with hot rocks and her body smeared with charcoal and mud during her initiation that evening, and then in tomorrow's light, looking similar to the man who now stood before her. She knew that it was a necessary symbolic step in quieting her ego, so that she could walk beyond herself in order to serve, and she looked forward to her time of initiation even though at the same time she felt trepidation. As we stood there, I could feel what she felt. The realization all over again as she was here not out of choice but because this was her given path: the only path for her, and she was honoring it. She already knew most of the guardians in training who were associated with the camp, as she had visited several times during her quest to find a place and a guide to help her with her unfolding as a guardian, but she had never before seen the camp, only guardian trainees may enter the camp, and the camp's whereabouts are kept secret to all others. That evening two other initiates returned from a mission, they told us about an illegal dumpsite they had found at the end of a dead end abandoned forest road - a pickup load's worth of construction debris. A few weeks ago they came across it and reported it to the authorities who would normally handle such a situation. They replied that there were numbers of such sites scattered throughout the forest, and there was no way that they could identify who were responsible for the dumps, much less, because they were understaffed, enforce or carry out the cleanup. So the two trainees went back to the site and rifled through the debris in hopes of coming up with a clue. Sure enough, they came across a garbage bag, discarded along with the scraps of insulation and empty caulk tubes and paint cans. In the garbage bag was some junk mail addressed to a man who lied in a nearby town and, they discovered, did repair work for a living. This afternoon they called him anonymously, asking if it was his garbage, and if so could he please pick it up and dispose of it properly at the recycling center. The tone of his denial made it obvious that the garbage was his, so he was told that their concern was that some the debris was toxic and would poison the plants and animals of the area and leach down into the water table, and asked if he could please have the garbage picked up by the weekend. He remained belligerent so they told him he would be reported to the Department of Natural Resources if the site was not cleaned up and the debris disposed of properly by the weekend. We've done this a few times, most of the time the garbage is picked up. On one occasion it wasn't and the authorities were going to be a long time in getting to the case, so one morning, the offenders woke to find that their irreverently disposed of garbage had somehow found its way to their front lawn. On this, the eve of her initiation, the new initiate found it hard to relax. Her nervous energy made it obvious that she had butterflies in her stomach, so we stayed up with her and nursed the fire, and talked about what was utmost on her mind. Her upcoming life as a guardian in training. "Tell me again", she said, "why our training camp is way out here in the wilderness." It's not as though she didn't know, as she had asked this question and a number of others at least a couple of times before. And she's not the only one who's asked these questions repeatedly. I think it keeps happening because, not only the concept, but the reality of a traditional Guardian Warrior training camp is so alien to our culture, it seems almost radical, it's so out of the norm. We knew how important it was for her to be grounded in this reality, so we had no qualms about answering her question again. In fact, in honor of her transition, two of us sat with her into the evening, especially because it was the eve of her initiation, and shared with her what it was important for her to hear again. Here is how the evening went. "Our camp is out here away from the main camp and in an area where other people won't stumble upon it, not because we're elitist or doing anything secretive, it is more that people not of our way would probably see us as doing nonsensical things, wasting our time, as you know, the ways of this Guardian camp here are the ways of our People. We are viewed as Guardian Warriors only to the outside world. To our people, what we are learning and practicing here are the skills of life. The skills of knowing the self, the skills of the hunt, the skills we would use for serving our people on an everyday basis. The primary reason our camp is out here is so that we can focus our undivided energies on the unfolding of self and the development of those skills, just as some of us go to spend time with the Wolves to learn to hunt, or time with the Elder Women, to learn about the Medicine Ways of the Plant People, so we spend time here. For us this is a journey in the same way that many young people as they approach adulthood will set out to walk about or travel to test out what they've learned, and find out about the ways of others." "But isn't this being isolationist and self-absorbed? If the role of the Guardian is to serve, how are we doing that by pulling so far away from our people?" "Must not the canoe maker learn her craft before she can make a boat and present it to her people? Does not the Eagle need to learn to fly before she can hunt?" "Of course, I knew that. I just get challenged by my parents, some of my friends, who wonder if I'm running away or dropping out. So it's good for me to have my own awareness reflected back to me sometimes. Just to reinforce that it is a shared awareness and that I'm not deluding myself." "But we're involved with the greater world anyway, aren't we?" "You bet! I think you'll remember when you were out here last time, that we took two boys from the nearby town who were drawn to the Old Ways out in the wilderness with us, when we were scouting for Cougar sign. And of course, you heard earlier about the efforts a couple of us have been putting into getting an illegal dumpsite cleaned up. As you know, this is a living-learning experience. We train by doing. In the dominant culture many of the traditional skills of the Guardian, that still exist, whether that be martial arts or skills of stealth, or hunting skills, or the skills of diplomacy, are taught as classes or workshops, they are isolated from their real life context. Here the way of the warrior is lived. We learn the skills of stealth by being stealthy in real life situations. We live the discipline of a Guardian, we don't just simulate it. We are a real camp, connected with and serving a real community of people. There is no pretend here, no romantic illusion. This is real, and believe me, sometimes it seems all too real. Our entire training is geared toward being involved, toward serving, for that is the Guardian Way. And yet in a sense, we are isolated. Do you know how sometimes you have to walk away from something in order to see it? A Rainbow shows its beauty only when we're at a distance from it. If we were to stand under a Rainbow it would be shrouded in dreary mist, so it is with our training, our distance gives us perspective, a Hawk rises in the Sky, not to escape, but to gain perspective, so that he may return to Earth with purpose and effectiveness. "What about all the hardship, the nights without sleep, the days without food, the heat, the cold, the strain of pushing myself to my limit?" "And what about that? What does that mean to you? What have you gained so far from your introduction to the Guardian Way?" "What I've really gained, is that what I thought I once knew is just an illusion, because when I look behind it, I see that it was just a billboard. Just a painted billboard creating a scene I could feel comfortable with. Something I thought I could latch on to. When I start looking behind the billboard, I'm humbled by the world of unknowing that lays before me." "Ah, that's it! I don't think you intended that to be your answer, and we haven't really talked much in depth about that aspect of training before, but you have just captured very eloquently what the illusion of hardship is all about in Guardian Warrior training. As you know our goal is to step aside of our egos so that our egos may serve rather than control us. In doing so, we trust that we will be provided for. We trust that our community will support us and the Mother will feed us and shelter us. So when we go on a scouting mission, we do not worry about whether we're going to have three square meals that day, and where they're going to come from. Our goal is to serve, and when we put that as a priority, we in turn will be served. Does that mean we will have food? Perhaps, and perhaps not. But it usually does mean that we shall receive. When we are willing to give, without reservation, without thought of recompense, we open the doorway to receiving, also without reservation. What we are doing, is offering our service in whatever way it is needed for the greater good, and in this way, we provide an opening for whatever it is we need. If our ego tried to take care of us, our ego would say: ‘You are going to need food today. You are going to need three square meals. You better pack your food. You better plan. If you don't pack your food, you better plan your scouting mission around where you're going to be able to stop for food.' You see, right away, this compromises the mission. Because our first priority is not to serve. Our first priority is to take care of ourselves. Right away, before we have even left camp, we have compromised our mission, and because giving is receiving, we have compromised what we might receive. Because energy flows in both directions, when we give with reservation, we have partially blocked the energy channels, in other words, we have limited what is intended for us to receive. If we think what we need to receive is food, we may well receive food, and that may be all we receive. On the other hand, if we open to the greater consciousness that we may receive what is intended for us, we may or may not receive food. We may receive nourishment of another sort. Something that may be far more nourishing to us than food. Had we known it was coming our way, we might have gladly given up food for it. The paradox is that if we do not give without reservation, we will never know what is intended for us. We will be warm and have full bellies for sure, perhaps that is all we will have. For example, a couple of weeks ago, we were asked to find a large freshly died pine tree for one of our elders, who was wishing to make a dugout canoe. Three of us went out to an area where the Elder Pines grow. We searched all day, and just as dusk was descending upon us, we came upon a beautiful Grandmother Pine who had just lain down in a recent storm to return to her beginnings. We went home rejoicing, anxious to share in the gift of the Pine Spirit with our Elder. It was as though he knew we were coming, because he asked us to sit down with his family to the meal that was just being served, and there was plenty of food to go around. Had we wakened that morning and taken time to pack food and then stopped along the way to eat it, we would not have had enough time in the day to reach deep enough into the Forest where the Grandmother Pine lay, and we would not have had the opportunity to feast with our Elder and his family." "I realized that giving is receiving, but I never quite looked at it that way. Thanks!" After a few minutes of quiet reflection, while staring into the embers, she spoke again. "Something tells me there's still more – " "Always." "But seriously, I wonder about the hardship - " "Yes, hardship. Going without food is hardship. Getting no sleep is hardship. Being cold is hardship. " "Are you making these statements as though they are facts?" "Ha! I was. Old habits die hard, you know. I guess what I mean to say is, that they can be hardship. Or so it seems. If you were up with your lover for half the night. Would you complain about losing sleep? If you felt as though you had to be up with him, perhaps you would complain. If you felt it an honor and a privilege, it would probably not cross your mind. So it is with our lives as Guardians. This is aa life of hardship and depravation only to those who see it as such. Is it not really a matter of awareness and perspective? When my bowl is half full, I'm content. When my bowl is half empty, I'm disenchanted, frustrated. It's the same bowl, the same experience, the same life. The only difference is me. When I want to climb the mountain, the sore muscles I might incur are not a consideration. So it is with those who view our life from the outside. They, of course, see the hardship and deprivation, because it is not their life. Someone who watches me climb the Mountain, and is not drawn to do so himself, might see the danger and the cold, and the tremendous exertion I will undergo and wonder why I would do such a thing. And so it is when we listen to people who react to our life. We listen with the understanding as to where they are coming from, and with our example we embrace their fear, and in doing so, we are practicing the Guardian Way, for it is our example, more than anything, by which we serve the people. Perhaps in touching with us, they will walk a bit more courage and perspective into their lives."