Nature Awareness; Sitting, Moving & Relating by RedWolfReturns On a public forum I frequent, someone recently asked me for advice on how to deal with racing thoughts during meditation & nature awareness practice. He wrote: "There is an exercise in the Kamana Program (I'm taking it through Wilderness Awareness School) called the sensory awareness exercise that I practice when I can. It consists of visiting a sit spot in the woods or your backyard that you're comfortable with and quieting the mental chatter and tuning into to your five senses for as long as you can. The key is to try and only have thoughts that are related to your present environment and pay attention to your breathing. I'm sure this must be similar to the "coming to oneness" and "mindfulness" you speak of. I really like it. One of the big hang ups I have with this exercise is getting on the internet before I go out and practice it. For example, yesterday I was up at 4:30 in the morning all ready to do some journaling about plants and after that I would go to my sit spot at sunrise, but I decided to check my email first. Well, a couple of hours later I finally got off the net to visit my sit spot. My mind was just racing, and I had a hard time slowing the mental chatter. I find that on days when I don't get on the net, or spend less than 15 minutes on it, I'm much more in tune to what is going on around and in me at my sit spot." I responded; A number of things may be going on here, so I'd like to touch on a few key points, and give stories illustrating them. 1. Sit spot practice is separate from daily life. Email needs to be done -- it is part of daily life, while sit spot time is unproductive time. Obviously one is going to take priority over the other. We didn't evolve to do things separate from our daily lives, so you'll probably have more success if you can integrate your nature awareness practice into your lifestyle (and vice versa) rather than adding it on as an accessory. 2. Your experience of email is probably active & engaging to your brain (you're probably communicating & interacting with relations that are important to you), while sit spot tends to be passive and non-engaging (and probably somewhat boring it we're honest with ourselves, no?). However, sit spot practice is familiar and makes sense to us because it fits the way we were taught to learn, be entertained, and be religious. In school we mostly sit passively in a classroom while a teacher teaches. For entertainment we mostly sit in front of the TV or in the theater or the sports arena. For religion we mostly sit in church. It makes sense to us that we would approach the outdoors the same way -- sit passively and watch. But this is not the way we evolved to be in relationship. The outdoors are not really our classroom, not really our cathedral -- they are the air we breathe, the water which slakes our thirst, the food that nourishes us, the land we move upon, the various peoples (animal people, plant people, etc.,) with whom we live, and the soil we return to as we pass on what we've been gifted in this life. You'll probably have more success if your nature awareness practice is engaging, active & involved. 3. People's intent often gets in the way of seeing wildlife while doing sit spot practice. All of our wild relations understand the emotional / feeling language of intent. If I go out into the woods looking to observe wildlife, my intent is basically the same as a hunter's or a stalkers. Everyone of us probably knows what it's like to "feel" someone watching you. Animals pick up on that, and steer clear. If instead I go to the woods and go about my business with unfocused awareness -- merging with the greater movement of my relations, I improve my chances of seeing wildlife. 4. When I talk about "coming to oneness" and "mindfulness", I am not talking about quieting or slowing one's thoughts. When I say "mindfulness" I'm using the word as the Random House Dictionary defines it: mind: (in a human or other conscious being) the element, part, substance, or process that reasons, thinks, feels, wills, perceives, judges, etc. Mind is so much more than just our thoughts -- mind and body are ultimately inseparable. Mindfulness is simply non-judgmental whole awareness. The thinking mind There is a vital part of the human brain whose job it is to think, so trying to suppress that is not the answer unless one's hope is merely to cope with a terribly dull life. This is actually where the mainstream Buddhist practice of quieting one's thoughts came from. Farmers were living a boring life with their nose to the furrow -- spending all day in monotonous environments doing activities where stimulating challenge was sorely lacking. Their minds were going crazy because of it. The state religion had an answer for them so they could deaden that ability and get back to work -- "meditation" to "quiet the mind" was (and is) taught by Buddhist priests just for that purpose (no wonder it's gaining popularity in our society, eh?). The original practitioners of Zen ("essence" ) first arose in contradiction to this, but as usual for civilization, their teachings were mostly absorbed and co-opted (much as every prophetic message in the Christian tradition has eventually been absorbed to an "ism" which serves the needs of Church & State). The thinking (rational/ego) mind is the one part of our being that gets regular exercise in our contemporary society, while our emotional, intuitive, sensual, and super-conscious abilities are mostly atrophied from lack of attention & use. The last thing we want to do is turn down the volume on the one ability we still have. Instead, we can enliven our whole selves by turning up the volume on the rest of our being. Contrast the following extreme examples: Example #1. I went to bed late last night after watching a movie, so this morning I wake sleepily to the alarm clock and stumble into the kitchen to have some morning coffee and breakfast (milk & cereal) while watching the morning news on TV. After I've had my fill, I take my usual morning dump on the toilet while reading a magazine and listening to the bathroom fan buzz as it takes the smell out of the room. After that, I fire up the computer, browse the Internet, check my email and write some friends. Now I go outside and sit under a tree for an hour of sit-spot practice. I'm trying to focus intently on watching what's around me, but during that hour my thoughts constantly turn to how my friends are doing, scenes from the movie I watched last night (which is much more exciting than my life), the things I have to do at work today, the errands I need to run after work, and the plans I'm making for a vacation two months from now. This all happens in my head while (at some point during the hour) a squirrel chatters at me and a couple of ground finches fly by. After my hour is over, I get up & go to work to make a living. On my way to work, I wonder how long I need to sit before some of the exciting things John Young talks about in his stories will actually start happening to me. While leaving work, I consider getting a fitness club membership to help me get back in shape, but realize I don't really have time to add yet another thing to my life. Example #2. Our lodge has no electric lights or TV, just an open fire hearth in the center. After dinner my camp mates & I sit in a circle around the flickering fire and tell stories. From those stories I am reminded of how the winds shifted through the day, how the weather may change tomorrow, and what remains to be done around camp. I also learn that fresh Coyote tracks were seen just to the east of us, not far from where I've placed snares in hopes of catching Snowshoe Hare. We let the fire die early, and bed down for the night. The lodge is warm, and cools slowly as the night continues on. As I wake spontaneously from dreams, the air feels crisp on my nose, and a slight pre-dawn chill creeps into my wool blankets. I re-live the drama of my dreams and see that my dream-self is revealing how I got trapped by assumptions & preconceptions yesterday that resulted in feelings of frustration and disconnect from the circle of life around me. The dream ends with a surprise twist which provides a pathway for viewing and living differently today. Each of us in the lodge shares our dreams, and we grow in intimacy & respect for one another. Dressing & exiting the lodge, we crawl out the door to the southeast and greet the Sun rising directly before us. I feel a dry thirst in my mouth, and a fullness growing in my bowels. My thoughts race excitedly at the prospect of checking my snares and seeing those Coyote tracks for myself. I part with my friends and run through the woods. My body heats up from the raw exercise, and my mind focuses & clears as I instinctively weave my way between trees, under branches & through brush, down to the creek to slake my thirst with ice-cold water. This time I choose a new route to scout for tracks and keep myself from falling into a habit. On the way, a familiar band of Black-Capped Chickadees flit by on their morning hunt. I greet them as old friends, and shadow their movements for a few moments as I pass by. During the journey along the creek I note signs of activity from the night before. My feelings & intuitions guide my path as my thoughts present me with dozens of questions, theories & interpretations of what I see written in the tracks (and what I could do with that knowledge). "Ah! there's where Squirrel has his caches...and over there's where he likes to perch & eat each morning! What is he eating? Look, Hare tracks moving between the sheltered Balsam grove & the edge of the meadow...and there's a good place for a snare where he moves regularly under the shelter of that downed log! Hmmm...a Deer trail I hadn't seen before...a well used route for coming to the creek to drink, just as I'm doing now! I can almost feel their thirst! I wonder if they pass here each day or every few days? How might I know? While looking at the Deer tracks, I focus my attention to one of them, then casually expand this awareness outward to take them all in. This awareness then expands even further to take in everything around & through me. I become one, and time stops for a moment. Then the thought emerges; "Notice the snow collected in the tracks, the Deer passed by here toward the end of that snowfall three days ago, and have not returned this way since." Feeling pleased at this new discovery, I move on to the creek. After drinking my fill and cooling my belly, I run onward to regain body heat and return to a particular area that is sacred to me -- a place I visit nearly each and every day and know intimately. A place where my relations know me as well. This is my Da'i or gifting place. The place I relieve myself and give back to the soil some of the nourishment I've been given from the soil. The place I gift my nail clippings and the hair that accumulates on my brush. This is the place where Chipmunk & Squirrel & Hare & Grey Jay know me and understand why I come -- since I come to relieve myself much as they do. This is a place I am involved with, where I hope even to return the gift of my body when I am done walking through this life. On this day as I squat, snowflakes begin to fall. My attention is caught by one as it slowly makes it's way to earth. This attention becomes unfocused, and expands to take all the snowflakes in, then to take everything in. Again I become one. Time is lost. A body memory emerges, and I recall when (just between late winter and early spring a year ago) I dropped a bundle of my hair on the edge of the clearing to my left, and saw brother Grey Jay swoop down & scoop up my gift. My hair will be used to line his mate's nest and warm his children! My heart swells & my eyes tear, since I too know how it feels to gather nesting material in hopes that a mate will be pleased. While standing and buttoning my pants, I notice a Raven out of the corner of my eye. He's perched on top of a dead spruce about 50 yards away. I remain peripherally aware of him for a little while as I cover my gift, then decide to try something. I turn my head, and fix my eyes on him. Instantly, he drops from his perch and flies away. After taking a good healthy dump in the forest's fresh morning air, I'm ready to check my traps & snares. Jogging onward & weaving through the trees, I come within sight of my first Rabbit snare. I stop abruptly and balance on one foot as my eyes scan the area. No action. My thoughts again race in presenting possibilities & searching for evidence. "How fresh are these tracks? Do they slip through my snare or go under? Should I reconsider its size & placement? If those tracks are all old, has the Hare I was hoping to trap shifted his feeding area? Might he have hunkered down & been inactive this past day? If so, why? Could the weather account for that? Could Coyote have gotten him? Hmm...?" I continue on, check my remaining snares and find those Coyote tracks my camp-mate spoke of last night. Trailing them for awhile I deduce Coyote was mostly following the Deer through this area and did not find any of the Hares I'm hoping to catch here. By this time, my belly is starting to growl, and so I return to camp to share some fruit & nuts and continue on with the day. I guess I have more to learn before we'll be having fresh Snowshoe Hare for dinner! Adjustments to daily life Now it may be that not everyone can make a switch as big as the contrast between the above illustrations, yet to whatever degree we might bring aspects of the second illustration into our daily lives is the degree to which we will grow in true holistic nature awareness -- nature awareness that grips and enlivens our whole consciousness and provides for our basic needs. Perhaps instead of practicing the "sit-spot" we can practice the "shit-spot" ("gifting area" or "Da'i"). Perhaps instead of sitting & watching, we could be scouting, running, tracking, and quenching our morning thirst? Perhaps instead of watching movies, we could share stories with those close to us and/or go to sleep early and connect to our dreams? Perhaps instead of buying chicken at the grocery, we could catch a few rabbits or squirrels in the old ways of our ancestors? And perhaps even when we walk across town, we could pick an unexpected route, rather than keeping to the paved path laid down for us? There are many, many possibilities. I'd also like to note that time-wise, the whole description I gave in example #2 of running through the woods, scouting & tracking as I went, filling up on wild water, "going to the bathroom", checking my traps, etc., could easily fit within the hour recommended by John Young for sit spot practice. Also, with just a few minor adjustments and a little added stealth, all the things I described in that narrative could be done in (for instance) open space parks I've visited inside the city of Madison Wisconsin, and just on the edge of Denver Colorado. By no means is what I described impossible for those of us who live in urban environments. More on "racing" thoughts I'd like to point out one additional thing when it comes to the issue of why our thoughts "race" these days. Our frontal lobes evolved for excellence in a dynamic, challenging, and "wild" environment. Our body-minds are capable of mapping landscapes hundreds of square miles large while tracking hundreds of our relations (two-legged, four-legged, predator, prey, plant, insect, weather, etc.,) within that area, AND crafting everything from scratch that we might need to thrive in that landscape through all four seasons. Now we live in houses, get food from grocery stores, watch Hollywood entertainment & have jobs. Think of driving a convertible sports car wide open on a curvy mountain road. Now think of driving that sports car stuck in downtown rush hour traffic. I'd say our body-minds are analogous to the sports car, so is it any wonder they want to race a little bit? Our main problem is we have trouble finding the zone within which our whole-being's power can be fully expressed. Instead, we often either under stimulate or over stimulate ourselves. We became who we are in "wild" nature, now we often find ourselves stuck in traffic. We get frustrated in the jam, and then seek a rush to keep us awake or relieve the tension (mostly vicarious rushes through TV, movies, books, coffee, sugar, alcohol or drugs). The good news is we have the ability to un-stick ourselves - if we're honest & clear with ourselves about what is or isn't working and why. On Meditation For many of us, various forms of sitting meditation have served us well in the course of our lives. They've helped us find moments of calm and centeredness in a chaotic world. They've helped us gain some self awareness and given us momentary tastes of oneness in the midst of a culture that continually tempts to keep us oblivious, passive and disengaged. And when it comes right down to it, sitting meditation is a big step up from (for instance) using TV to focus our thoughts for us. On the outside we may still be sitting and watching, but on the inside we are taking back the power to focus our own attention. This can be empowering, and for the select few who are able to master these disciplined forms of meditation, they accomplish the heroic task of keeping one's awareness lively and active even in the absence of natural/practical reasons for doing so. Yet in spite of our meditations, our lifestyle still distances us from our relations, stiffens and atrophies our bodies, and often drives our minds crazy (which we then compensate for by learning meditation). So could it be that even those who attain mastery in meditation are still reinforcing a core cultural pattern that is both deeply engrained and has a profound negative impact on other areas of our lives? A native person keeps his awareness active and lively at all times because the quality of his life depends on it - because he must know intimately the myriad of forces and (non-human) peoples in his world in order to relate to them properly, to secure their help in meeting the needs of his people. The signs in the sky, the songs of the birds, the feeling in the air, the sound of the wind, the tracks in the earth, the mental map he has of the surrounding landscape through all four seasons, the images, intuitions & thoughts that arise from his mind - his awareness of all of these determine if his people are comfortable, well fed, and secure. If we look at our current situation from greater perspective, the same is still true for us. How could it not be? We live in the same primal web of life as the native, whether he is our own distant ancestor or a modern Bushman in the Kalahari. All we've done is lost sight of this truth. We don't know it deep down, because we don't take active responsibility for it. We don't practice it. Instead, we become passive consumers. Yet can Safeway or McDonalds be trusted to forage among our relations and feed our families? Is Wal-Mart really a secure way to clothe our children? Will Home Depot shelter us in an emergency? Now don't get me wrong, sitting certainly has its place. It is certainly easier to step back and gain perspective while not trying to do other things at the same time. Besides that, relaxed conservation of energy is a key element in native survival. Sitting calmly has an important place in daily life now, just as it has for natives since before the beginning of time. The point where meditation reinforces an out of balance pattern in our society is in the separation between "meditating" and "getting up and applying it". Just the fact that the distinction exists in "meditation practice" speaks to this imbalance, because self knowledge and other knowledge cannot be separated any more than self and other can be separated. At our core, we are nothing but our relationships. We know who we are as we know our place in this web. Sometimes it is helpful to step back, stop, and gain perspective, definitely. And yet beyond that, to know ourselves, is not to know an individual, but a wave of relating in a sea of relationship. The key issue from the earlier two examples was not just that we need to be moving and exercising when meditating (though there is certainly benefit to that), but that we actually need to be relating in fluid ways that meet basic needs -- the needs of us and all our relations (i.e. for food, clothing, shelter, water, & love). The point of my earlier illustration wasn't just that I'm running rather than sitting, it's that I'm drinking from a stream, pooping in the earth, trapping rabbits whose flesh I then eat. That relationship gives me practical awareness of water, earth, rabbits (and myself) that cannot be gotten by sitting and meditating then getting up to drink from a faucet, poop in a toilet, and eat from a grocery store.